Fantasy Spinach

Welcome to the big show. I can't explain it. I don't know why I do it. Every year I get the email , " Fantasy Baseball draft is going to be March 14th at 9 pm . Please respond if you are in." Every year I think to myself. I should say no this year. I should say no every year .. I am not going to keep track of my team . I wont remember to change the pitchers in time ...I wont remember to sit A Rod for the first two months while he rests his spinach induced injury. See Fantasy Baseball is not like Fantasy Football....Fantasy Football is different. Fantasy Football is once a week. Most importantly Fantasy Football is fun.

So why am I about to go to to my fantasy Baseball draft? I know why... I think its because I love the draft. If I could draft a team every day and have someone else control it I think that would be the optimal situation. In fact usually that is what happens. I end up drafting my team and then somewhere around July 4th , my brother calls me and says," I moved your team in to tenth . Your finally out of the cellar. You have had David Ortiz in the line up for last 2 months and he is out for the year" ( OK that part of the quote was not in fact a quote... But hey a man can hope) .. It's really all about the draft..

So what is my strategy?? OK I don't really have a strategy. If I did have one this would be it..I think I am going to take a different approach this year.. I am going to do my best to keep up with my team this season..After all the Yanks are going to win the world series ( see the blog title) ... so Baseball will be exciting anyway... So how do I do that? How do I ensure that I will keep track of my team on a Tuesday in June?? Well as I have stated previously I love baseball only because I love the Yankees ... So maybe I will draft all Yanks.. ( Wait Cody Ransom at third ..and Melk Cabrerra in Center.. No maybe not all Yanks.) I am going to try and draft all East coast guys. Maybe Yanks , Mets, and Sox ..( although I am willing to pass up winning the fantasy baseball title for a season ending injury to Ortiz , Pedroia or any other Boston player.) I will try to keep my team as local as possible.. So I can keep myself interested... That, if you can call it one, is my strategy....


Here is a running diary of tonights draft...

9:38 The Commish announces the draft order. Apparently I am picking 5th. How do I know that this is not fixed? Why is the draft order not determined live?? ( If it was up to me we would have a celebrity do the picks...Like Tim Donaughy or Bernie Madoff) Why is there no auditor??? I mean at the Oscars they always announce that Price Water House is auditing the Oscar picks.. OK I have worked to many hours latley..Either way I am picking 5th..

9:45 - Mitch is on the clock contemplating the first pick in the draft. Being the eternal Yankees die hard I suggested Clay Bellenger, Andy Fox, Homer Bush, Brett Gardner...... Mitch looks skeptical and takes Pujols. Awful Pick... Ten to one he gets suspended fifty games for spinach..

9:52 Hanley Ramirez David Wright Jose Reyes...Its up to me at number 5 .. I really want to Pick A Rod..He is out 6 weeks.. At a minimum. On the one hand it gives me more of a reason to hate him... On the other hand he is out 6 weeks... Here is how I approach A rod. If he hits like he is still on spinach It would benefit the Yankees .. If he hits like Cody Ransom then I will have another reason to loathe him ... I have five seconds four three.. "Miguel Cabrera" .. I couldn't take the pressure .. I choked like A Rod on a cool October night... So much for my east coast idea...Cabrerra eats more doughnuts then I do... I will regret not taking A Rod the whole season..

10:00 It's a miracle A Rod is still available in the second round.. No one is picking him ...There are two picks left until its my turn.. If I can get him now.. I have to take him.. " Alex Rodriguez" ...This is awesome...This Yankee season just got so much better... (Maybe I will pick up Cody Ransom until he comes back)

10:04 OK I need a pitcher. I want CC. I think with him and Cabrera I can have the all over weight team.. It just feels right..

10:05 Mitch just took him.. Crap.. I still need to take a pitcher. It's my turn... ( The commish probably can not be happy that I am typing and drafting.. ) Cole Hamels.. Now every Phillies game will be enjoyable not just because I hate the Mets.. Well mostly because I hate the Mets..

10:11 I think I am going to take Pedroia... I already know why ... He has been a Red Sock for two years..And Yet .I do not hate him .... This will put me over the top.. He will spend the next 6 months making me crazy.. Wait what if he does really well? Then what?? I must decide. . OK I will take Pedroia.. Back to the East Coast.. I hate the Red Sox..

10:15 The host of this draft has the movie the Illusionist on his desk. I really liked that movie.. Allow me to explain why ...There are certain actors who are the same in every movie..Adam Sandler.. Samuel L Jackson come to mind...I hate both those guys .. ( Seriously.. Has there ever been a worse movie then you don't mess with the Zohan???? I challenge someone to come up with a worse movie) Then there are guys who play a varying range of characters and play them well... When I think of actors like that I think of Edward Norton and Paul Giamanti.. Love those guys...Love this movie.. gonna borrow this movie....


1020 Just drafted Roy Oswalt... Kind of admire him...Why?? Good question..I will tell you why.. He was in the same clubhouse as Pettite and Clemens who were injecting them selves more then the Heroine addict I sat next to on the train on Friday... and yet he was not on it.. ( At least I think )

1030: One dude was stalling to make a pick and someone yelled " Come on its not that hard..It shouldn't take this long" Some one calmly replied ... " Thats what she said".... Line of the night...Thats what she said is the line of the night very often...I hear it all the time and it never gets old.



1040: I just suggested that we draft managers .. Why not add ejections as a category... I mean why can't we be innovative.. Or how about every one gets one team and which ever team has the most players busted for spinach you get points..OR whichever team gets in to the most brawls wins.. But seriously is there anything better then a brawl in baseball.. It just doesn't happen enough...

1100: Overall I am pretty happy with my team.. Cabrera Arod Pedroia and a bunch of other spinach users...Maybe I will try to keep track this year and take the crown.. I think the winner should get a syringe instead of a trophy.. Cliff Lee , Cole Hamels, Chein Min Wang, and Roy Oswalt .. I got a dominant staff.. Either way I am going home now to watch the Illusionist..( Maybe I can make Ortiz disappear)

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